Friday, April 29, 2011

Games People Play

When things aren't going well, its all too easy to act childish and toy with your partner.Trust me - that won't get you anywhere. Toying just makes you focus on your problems instead of figuring out how to make things better.

  • Don't act mean-spirited and say things just to hurt him.
  • Don't focus on finding fault with everything he does.
  • Don't keep score of who did or didn't do what.
  • Don't fight about unimportant things.
  • Don't make excuses like "i have a headache, lets not talk about this tonight" or "i'm too depressed to deal with this".
  • Don't get caught up in sabotage group. These friends are having similar problems wth their mates, so you complain to each other. Since these complaints hold your group together, you fear changing because you'll lose your seat at the party.
LOVE SMART -Dr. Phil McGraw
(page260)
Back To Basics

We all have needs, and part of a relationship and wanting to be close to someone is that this person fulfills these needs. It would seem there are seven basic categories of needs.
  • v  Survival: What do you have that helps him survive and live better?
  • v  Security: He wants to know that you’ll be loyal to him, that you won’t cheat on him. He wants know he’s got a soft place to fall.
  • v  Affection: He wants to be shown love in various ways, from simply rubbing his back to sex.
  • v  Self-esteem: He wants to know you’re proud of him.
  • v  Acknowledgement:  He wants to be heard and to know that you value his opinion.
  • v  Smart enough: He wants to know that you have faith in him.
  • v  Purpose in life: He wants you to help him do something that’s bigger than himself that makes him feel he’s adding to welfare of the world.


LOVE SMART – Dr. Phil McGraw
(page 248)

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The 80% Solution

The 100% candidate doesn't exist. That's right ; the perfect fit is a myth right up there with pain-less dentistry and painless waxing. Instead of wasting time searching for exact match, look for the guy who is free of deal breakers and has 80% of what you want in a partner. The other 20% you can grow.

_________________________________________________________________


Life is a compromise. Relationships are a compromise. Does that mean you should give up on the 20% you dont like? No way. You work on it. And if all you ever get is 80% of the missing 20%, take my word, you are going to be married and happy for a long time.

p/s : via Love Smart (page 29)

Saturday, March 19, 2011

LOVE LETTER FOR HIM (PART 1)

Dear ________,

I love you so much and you just don't know it. Sometimes I get scared to show it. It feels like when you come around me my mouth becomes grid-locked and all the words I want to say just stop. 

My lips clutter because my love is so strong, and the words that I want to say just won't be said. Sometimes I want to open up to you and tell you how I feel - I guess I am too scared to open up and be real. I know you love me and you have hidden feelings inside too. 

It seems like it is easier for you to express yourself to me than it is from me to you. Dear, I love you, and know that I will always have hidden feelings for you.

I love you, baBy.


Love Always,


_______

Monday, February 28, 2011

Saving Your Relationship

Tip #1. Keep a positive mindset.  Couples get back together ALL the time, regardless of their situation.  Remember that.  Recite it.  Let it set you free.

Tip #2. Don't be pushy.  The worst thing you can do is be pushy towards your partner and have them react negatively.  Don't be pushy.  Be structured in saving your relationship.

Tip #3. Learn to communicate your ideas and points in a manner that is easy to be heard.  This ties in with being pushy.  You know how your partner is and you know how they react, you have to "sneak in" the relationship fixing stuff in a positive way so it's taken much better.

Tip #4. Bring in the old great memories!  Go out together if you can and relive some of your memories that brought you together.  Remember how special you are together, and more importantly, remember WHY you are so special to each other.

Tip #5. Kiss!  It's not surprising that most couples going through relationship toughness are barely physical.  Surprise your partner with a quick kiss!  Catch them off guard, make them say "wow, you're spontaneous!" and get some butterflies going.  Your relationship is down, but you are not out!  Do some spontaneous kissing to mix things up!

Tip #6. Smile!  Smiling actually makes you feel better.  Smile at your spouse.  Make them smile back.  Things are tough, but you both are stronger together.  Delight in the fact that you can still smile at each other.  This will do wonders in small steps to getting back into a healthy relationship.

Tip #7. Kissing is great, and a wonderful step, but normal touch is very important too!  Touching actually causes chemical reactions inside your body!  Make sure that you set these off.  Remember why you are meant for each other.  Touch each other, make each other feel good.  Hug each other.  Hugging does wonders.  It's the simple stuff that saves a relationship.

Tip #8. Seek counseling.  This may not be for everybody, but it does wonders for some on saving their relationship and marriage.

Tip #9. Talk with friends.  Having both sides being able to freely express themselves to friends can make things come full circle and have your issues known among each other.  Save your relationship by sharing your burdens with your friends, and having them help you through the tough times.

Tip #10. Stop making the mistakes so many people make when trying to save their relationship.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Guy do fall in love...

1. Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

2. Guys love flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4. When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.

5. “Are you doing something?” or “Have you eaten already?” are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

7. When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard all your bad characteristics.

8. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.

9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl’s attention.

10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.

12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can’t. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!

13. Guys cry!!!!!!!!

14. Don’t provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

17. When you touch a guy’s heart, there’s no turning back.

18. Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…never mind!” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.

20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

21. When a guy makes a prolonged “umm” or makes any excuses when you’re asking him to do you a favor, he’s actually saying that he doesn’t like you and he can’t lay down the card for you.

22. When a girl says “no”, a guy hears it as “try again tomorrow.”

23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

24. Guys hate gays!

25. Guys love their moms.

26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn’t mean that the guy likes her.

28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

31. Like Eve, girls are guys EUR™ weaknesses.

32. Guys are very open about themselves.

33. It’s good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don’t let him wait that long.

34. No guy is bad when he is courting.

35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they’re not that much pretty.

37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.

39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.

43. Guys virtually brag about anything.

44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

45. Guys think too much.

46. Guys’ fantasies are unlimited.

47. Girls’ height doesn’t really matter to a guy but her weight does!

48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!

49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.

50. It’s not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they’ve been together for 3 years or more.

51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.

52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he’s too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won’t be matured and grow up.

53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.

54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.

56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he’s sweating. You’ll probably see that he is nervous.

57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, “Please come and listen to me.”

59. Guys don’t really have final decisions.

60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.

62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

63. Guys believe that there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.

64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

65. Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.

66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.

67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.

68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.

69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

71. A guy’s friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.

72. Don’t be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.

73. Don’t be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you’ll be surprised.

74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.

75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.

76. Guys don’t comprehend the statement “Get lost” too well.

77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.

78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.

79. Guys don’t care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they’ll realize they’re wrong.

81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He’s just too stubborn to deal with it.

82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.

83. Guys’ weakest point is at the knee.

84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.

85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.

86. When a guy looks at you, either he’s amazed of you or he’s criticizing you.

87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.

88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you’re with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.

90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!

92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.

93. When a guy says he can’t sleep if he doesn’t hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.

94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.

95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

96. Girls are allowed to touch boys’ things. Not their hair!

97. If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you.

98. Guys hate girls who overreact.

99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationship

Sunday, January 30, 2011

..Love is something eternal..

45 things a girl wants for but wont ask for.

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her. 
3. Share secrets with her. 
4. Give her your jacket. 
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this? 
6. Hug her. 
7. Hold her. 
8. Laugh with her. 
9. Invite her somewhere. 
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.

KEEP READING .. 
11. Smile with her. 
12. Take pictures with her. 
13. Pull her onto your lap. 
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back. 
15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone? 
16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her. 
17. Kiss her unexpectedly. 
18. Hug her from behind around the waist. 
19. Tell her she’s beautiful. 
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it. 
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman. 
22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it. 
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her.

24. Make her feel loved. 
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US .. 
26. Don’t lie to her. 
27. DON’T cheat on her. 
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants. 
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her. 
30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT. 
31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too. 
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her. 
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her). 
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT .. 
36. When people diss her, stand up for her. 
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her. 
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you. 
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand. 
40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED. 
41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams. 
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears. 
43. Take her for long walks at night. 
44. Always remind her how much you love her. 
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while you’re sitting on her.
You’ll never know when she needs just a little more love ..   (to my habbie)